10 Ways to Practice Self-Love and be Kinder to Yourself
As we creep closer to February 14th we know love is in the air and while it might be one of the most romantic days on the planet for some, for others - it might feel like our most daunting. And, Valentine’s Day is a different day for everyone, so, no matter how you plan on spending it we’ve dedicated an entire blog that encourages you to take some time to practice a little TLC, self-love style. We asked our Medley Model Rani West and author of poetry books Lisa Skelton to find out how they practise self-love.
Loving yourself can be as simple as taking the time to say some kind words to yourself, having a luxurious bath or finally picking up that book you put down (months ago…). Whatever it may be, go on, love yourself - you know you want to.
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What is Self-Love?
Firstly, what is self-love? It’s something we hear talked about amongst our friendships, hash tagged on Instagram and incorporated into our favourite literature. According to Dr Jeffery Borenstein on The Brain & Behaviour Research Foundation website “Self-love is a state of appreciation for oneself that grows from actions that support our physical, psychological and spiritual growth.” (1)
Now, where do we start? Beginning to incorporate self-love into your everyday life will be a different experience for everyone. Take a moment for Y-O-U and think about what is most important to your life. What areas of your life do you think you can invest in yourself more? There’s no time like the present to start lovin’ yourself that little bit extra.
What can we gain from it?
Self-love, besides feeling pretty damn good, can be such a positive boost to our mental wellbeing. It forces us to think about things that make us happy, and to start prioritising those things. We can learn the art of reflecting, helping us discover new things about ourselves and grow as individuals.
Loving yourself, is loving all of you, it helps you develop more of a universal acceptance towards every part of yourself, and when we learn to love ourselves, it can help us love those around us more healthily and positively. To quote Ru Paul “If you don't love yourself, how in the h**l you gonna love somebody else?” Or if you’re a Samantha Jones fan “I love you, but I love me more.” Or maybe take inspiration from the image above, an American flight attendant, Taylor Tippett, spread the love by putting up notes on the windows of her flights to brighten the days of passengers. (2)
Most importantly, remember everything takes time, every self-love step is exactly that – a step. A rung in the ladder of building a relationship with yourself. After all the relationship we have with ourselves is the one that’s with us forever, literally. So, like all relationships it requires a lil’ bit of maintenance.
Our 10 Favourite Acts of Self-Love
Here are a few of our favourite ways to show yourself some much needed, well deserved, self-love:
1. Practising self-love affirmations
It may feel strange to stand in front of the mirror and talk to yourself but speaking self-love affirmations out loud can help release feel good hormones and set you up for your day. If you live alone, you might feel creative and write them on your mirror as a reminder in lipstick or on a cute post it.
2. Surrounding yourself with positive people and energy
The age old saying of “you are who you spend time with” – well it’s always good to not take on sayings too literally. However, it can be easy to take on other people’s energy, that energy being positive or not so positive. If you feel comfortable, share the things you’re doing to practice self-love with your faves. Spread the love!
3. Journaling
Set aside some time out of your daily routine to write down your thoughts. Whether it be a few words, a paragraph, or the beginning of a short novel about you, yourself, and self-love. Ask questions like What am I thankful for, from today? What made me smile today? What can I learn from today? Or a few lines about what you love about yourself.
4. Dedicate time to hobbies and maintaining a work/life balance
Wanting to embrace a new hobby? Feel like trying out painting? Miss having time to read? Create the time to do these things. It’s so important to establish a work/life balance, make time for the things that make you smile.
5. Be nice to yourself
Above all. From us to you, be nice to yourself. If you make a mistake – be kind to yourself. If you’re having a hard day, go easy on yourself. We can be our own worst critics, try and quiet that voice and replace it with self-love affirmations. We need to find ways to judge ourselves less and love ourselves more.
6. Treat your body healthily
The relationship with our body and mind is so important. Treat your body as healthily as you do your mind. Spend time in nature, move your body and eat those leafy greens. Leafy green smoothies, here we come!
7. Take time to pamper!
Now is the time to fill up that bath full of bubbles, light some candles and try out that new face mask. Soak your skin and worship your body! Maybe now is the time to take off that 3-week-old nail polish…
8. Don’t be afraid to ask for help
We’re only human after all. If you’re feeling in need of advice, give that person a call that always gives you the insight or words of encouragement that never fail to support you. Even it just ends up being a big ole chat to your bestie.
9. Try and focus on what your strengths are
It can be oh too easy to chastise ourselves for the things we feel are our shortcomings. Everyone has things they want to work on – and that’s okay! But try to centre your thoughts around what you feel you’re great at. Give yourself the pat on the back you deserve.
10. Get enough rest
Listen to your body. When you need rest, make sure you listen to what your body needs. Burn out is a real thing, resting is just as important as everything else.
How do Medley Model Rani West and author of poetry books Lisa Skelton celebrate self-love?
We asked Rani and Lisa a few questions about self-love and how they incorporate it into their everyday lives.
@raniwest_ wearing our Heart Sunray Pendant in Gold and Fundamental Chain in Gold
Rani West:
Rani is a model and is currently doing a PhD in Sports Biomechanics.
1. What does self-love mean to you?
Self love is setting boundaries, saying no to things that don't make you happy, and being your own best friend.
2. How do you practice/incorporate self-love into your day-to-day life?
I have non-negotiable morning habits that have allowed me to take control of my day and set positive intentions for myself and my work. I get up early for my pilates class, then go into the beach for a walk, swim and of course, coffee. I love my iced oat latte, the sunshine and the sea.
During this time I don't look at my emails and have turned off my notifications on my phone to focus on being more present in my own moments. This also stops me from responding to everyone else's day and allows me to do what I need for my mind and body. Setting clear tasks and goals for each day keeps me feeling motivated and accomplished, and then at the end of that day reflecting on at least three that went well. Spending time connecting with someone or laying in bed watching my favourite TV shows, often Friends, also fills my cup.
3. What advice would you give to someone making the effort to practice more self-love?
Start talking to yourself as if you were speaking to your best friend - would you put them down for the way they looked or tell them they couldn't do something? Loving and appreciating who you are only magnifies love and abundance in all other areas of your life. Know that you're allowed to take a break. Trust that you know what is best for you, always. Plan one thing each day that you LOVE and can look forward to.
4. Who are the people in your life you turn to for advice?
My family, partner and best girlfriends. Asking for help and having a strong base of support is essential. It is so special to have people who truly love and believe in the magic of everything you are and what you are capable of. I'm so grateful to have them.
5. Why do you think that it’s so important to dedicate time to self-love?
You are with yourself 24/7. How you speak to yourself and treat your mind and body reflects outward into your life. There is such a thing as mental fatigue. If we can love and celebrate who we are unapologetically, we can give our best selves to everything that we do. You have to do the work, be honest and kind with yourself. We are constantly evolving, growing and changing. You deserve to feel at peace and enjoy life. You are wonderful!
Lisa Skelton:
Lisa Skelton is an artist and an author of poetry.
1. What does self-love mean to you?
Learning to value and invest in myself with the same care that I would for a best friend.
2. How do you practice/incorporate self-love into your day-to-day life?
While there is so much beauty in romancing life with flowers and facials, self-love in my day-to-day life most commonly looks like sharing my feelings, asking for support and letting the voice of loving kindness be the main one that I let guide me and make decisions with.
3. What advice would you give to someone making the effort to practice more self-love?
Be gentle with your humanity. Love isn’t about perfection, it is about intention. Love is a choice, so is self-love. Keep choosing to nurture yourself, (especially after the days you feel you least deserve it as these are the days you need love the most).
4. Who are the people in your life you turn to for advice?
My inner-circle of close friends and my sister who have proven to be my safe haven through the way they protect my feelings, talk me out of shame, encourage my dreams and see my worth for me on the days I can’t see for myself.
5. Why do you think that it’s so important to dedicate time to self-love?
I believe the time we dedicate to self-love softens our heart to then do thoughtful acts that soften someone else’s heart. I also believe the more fully we can learn to truly love ourselves, the more available we are to have healthy love in our life because we have set a standard of worth first from within.
Are you feeling inspired to go and love yourself silly? We truly hope so. Remember, love yourself first.